Are you addicted to drama?

Drama, oh, that lovely little word that carries such a punch. Whether it is in your personal life, in the shows you watch, or in someone else’s life, drama seems always to be close at hand. 

Let’s face it; this world is not drama-free. Even if you live under a rock, you still get floods. This world is not supposed to be easy – because we need to have our hearts on eternity. I feel bad for people who have not had real strife in their life because they have not felt the depth of God’s enormous love around them or had to depend on God to build them back up again. 

Most people have not had that problem though, most are like me and have seen the valley lows and the mountain highs. I learned long ago that even in those valley lows, I had to fight to find my joy and the silver lining in situations. 

Loving The Drama

Some people, though, love the drama. They look for it as a drug. They always want something to be wrong, something to gossip about, something to either be able to get people to sympathize with their lives or someone close to them so they can feed off of the drama.

If I were a betting woman, I would bet we all probably know someone like that. Secretly some of y’all love it. I know this because these cable shows make millions, and it’s all feeding people’s love for drama. 

These shows, whether reality shows, soap operas, or nighttime dramas, all catch the heart of Americans everywhere. I have friends that know the night of the week by what show is on. Don’t get me wrong: yes I watch TV. I love to be entertained like the next girl, but I try to be very careful about what I watch. I don’t like any show that you have to watch every episode to know what’s going on. My family likes shows like Monk –  My standards are not gospel, but I like that I can watch it with my kids around, no foul language, no sex scenes, no political agenda being forced down my throat, just good, mostly lighthearted entertainment. I know I fall into the minority of people with that statement but hear me out. 

As a society, we have become so consumed by drama. We are letting the media, the internet, and the gossip steal our Joy. 

I have overheard long conversations about “Real Housewives of ___” and “The Bachelor” and opinions, or someone disturbed by unfairness or what they thought should be happening. With sincere emotion in their voices. Maybe you can watch these shows without the drama effecting you, and that’s fine. These conversations about the drama, don’t help us become good friends, finding out what’s in each other’s lives—helping out our fellow humans. These conversations help keep relationships very topical, without really getting to know each other. Sure, maybe, it makes it look like a great conversation starter on the surface, but ultimately these types of conversations don’t help you fellowship with each other or be a good human. 

Gossip

Just as gossiping about other problems does not make you a good friend. These shows get us addicted to the gossip. It forms habits that are not healthy for our society to thrive. Just as Proverbs 26:22 says, “The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.” I take that to mean they feel good at the time and then eat away at your soul. 

If you find yourself to be one of the people addicted to drama, whether in life or on TV, I want to challenge you to watch something else. Pick an old fashion show or a documentary to binge-watch. Talk about an interest you have or the dreams you had as a child. Challenge yourself to think of other more thought-provoking topics that can help form conversations, not controversy.

Proverbs 18:21, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”

Don’t Get Robbed

Our Joy is the real thing that we let get stolen when we feed into this drama. When we just spin our wheels and talk about the rough times that we or others are enduring over and over again, it helps no one, especially ourselves. 

There are times with a trusted friend or spouse that we need to talk through things. I tend to be a verbal processor, so I usually choose my husband to talk things through. I wrestle with the problem. Then I find a solution, a better way of looking at it, some sort of silver lining out of a horrible situation. Even when I’m still wrestling with it, though, I don’t go posting it on social media or start texting everyone I know because that will just perpetuate the problem to keep it alive and going. Yes, there are times we post things to people outside our inner circle, such as grieving a death to let people know where we are right now. Social media is not a safe place to openly go through the grieving process. You need friends and prayer partners for that.

Don’t misread; letting people know something big happened (good or bad), so acquaintances will know, is not a bad thing. Perpetuating a cycle of consistent posts just looking for surface feedback is not where you will find your healing is my point. 

Once you get a “solution” or know what course you have to take in any given problem, don’t keep hashing it over and over. If you know that your doctor said you have to lose weight or you are going to get diabetes. Don’t keep falling into the “woe is me, feel bad for me” conversations. Train yourself to talk to yourself nicely. Tell yourself one step that you are going to do that day to make the situation better. Then do it. 

Studies have shown that there are critical times in making a lifestyle change that you actually shouldn’t talk about what you are doing to change. The reason is you can get the same hormonal high in your brain by talking about it, and then you don’t actually do it. So in part – drama is terrible. An Accountability partner is a different story, but we are just talking about the drama’s harmful effects. 

Bottom line, drama steals your joy. When you are going in circles in your conversations about all the bad stuff going on in your life and others, it gets you into a mindset that robs you of the life God has for you. 

This drama steals your joy and turns you into a person you don’t want to be. 

Fight back with joy and train your brain to find and talk about the good coming out of even the worst situations. 

Ephesians 4:29, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Go in peace and Joy my sisters!

Jenny Cioto

From Catherine and Jenny with Pursuing true North