Psalm 62:8 – Trust in Him at all times, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. NKJV
Do you trust God? Naturally your quick answer is probably yes. Of course – He’s God and you are not.
But do you really trust Him? Trust Him enough that you pour your heart out to Him?
It is so easy to go to a best friend, a husband, a mom or adult child and just pour your heart out to them. You’re pretty safe with whoever you feel like verbally vomiting your heart to. You feel safe and you feel like you can trust them enough to pour out your innermost feelings and fears and maybe even some of your own nastiness to without fear.
A refuge is a place without fear – a safe place, a shelter. In this way our person is like a refuge for us.
Do you know God wants you to do that with Him? Be your safe place and refuge? He isn’t interested in a cleaned up, maybe-this-is-a-pretty-enough-prayer. Do you know He isn’t fragile? He’s not going to change His mind about you if you show Him all of your yuck. You know He sees it anyway, don’t you?
There’s no hiding anything in your entire being from God’s eye. You may as well get honest about it with Him. Mad respect to the God who allows us to come as we are – crying, screaming, angry and hurt – yet all without changing His love for us.
There is a way you can do all of the above without throwing your respect and love for God away.
One of my ugliest prayers – I was on my face. I was angry and exhausted from trying so hard to change my own heart and feelings. The dust was flying off my carpet and dancing in the light from my bedroom window as I hysterically yelled and cried as I prayed, “I’ve tried so hard for so long to be what I’m supposed to be and I can’t do this anymore! I can’t keep faking it until I make it because I just can’t live like this! God, why don’t you care to honor my efforts? So fine! Just fine! I’m not going another step like this. I am SO done trying!”
Like a bolt straight into my soul – “It’s about time. You going to let me do this now?”
My tears stopped. I sat up. Oh my goodness! I didn’t let God have this!
And do you know He came through for me? It was a little bit of time, and He gave me some more challenges before then to see if I really was going to believe He’d come through. I stayed the course and He came through in a way that proved He would do just as He promised He would. And He did it in a way that would prove to me He wasn’t done showing Himself off to me.
If He did it for me, He’ll do it for you. I think He loves it when we get real with Him. Respectfully that is. Don’t go to Him blaming Him for evil. He didn’t do the evil that befell you. He can take your broken, your raw, your shame your everything and breathe beauty all in it and over it. You have to trust Him, though.
That’s our part. He’ll do the rest.
